Do you wish people would show you some more respect, sometimes?

Speak a bit nicer to you? Kinder? Stop with all the subtle put downs and derogatory asides?

What if I told you how other people talk to you is a reflection of how you feel about yourself, and how you talk to YOURSELF?

It might sound strange but we are constantly ‘telling’ other people how to speak to us in lots of ways.

The way we speak about ourselves in front of them, is a major one. How we respond to them when they talk to us, another.

Do you LET people put you down?

Do you let them make jokes at your expense?

As a recovering people pleaser (!) I’ve been there and done that. Before I got to the subconscious root of my self-esteem issues I let people make jokes about me, and I even joined in. And in that behaviour I SHOWED them how to speak to me. I showed them what I felt I was worthy of.

And I got used to it.

Until I got bored of it. And I decided I deserved better.

It didn’t happen over night but the more I did these 5 things below the more I created a zone of empowered talking around me.

And I found it to be true what they say: often in life, we get what we put up with.

And we always get more of what we put out there too.

Here are 5 things you can do to improve the way people talk to you…

1. Never speak poorly of yourself

This is a game-changer. If you’re like me, somewhere along the line you adopted the very disempowering idea that to down-play your successes, talents and skills was humble, and therefore noble. But why? Okay, you don’t need to be all LOOK AT ME AND HOW GREAT I AM all the time, but you can find a happy medium between declaring how useless you are at everything and focussing on all the good things you do, can do, and are doing. And remember, your words show where your attention is, and your attention is like fertiliser: whatever you put it on grows!

2. Never join in with jokes putting you down

You can have a GREAT sense of humour without making yourself the butt of the joke, and without letting others make you the butt of THEIR jokes. The question, in this case, should be WHY is your friend, family member, work colleague feeling the need to make you a joke: are they intimidated, jealous, angry or what? Do they feel superior and want to ‘put you in your place’? Don’t let them. You have your own place and no one can take it from you unless you let them.

3. Get okay with ignoring people completely

If someone says something cruel or they tease you or whatever, sometimes the most powerful thing to do is say nothing. Hold your ground, hold your space—your place—let them feel the negativity they are trying to throw onto you. Silence is a great teacher for us all.

4. Stop caring how other people talk to you

…and watch it miraculously improve. The way of non-attachment. It’s no big deal, really. Walk on…

5. Meditate on a 528Hz theta wave binaural beat

528Hz is the frequency which clears and activates your solar plexus chakra, where your feelings of confidence and empowerment are held and come from. When your brain is entrained to the theta wave state it is most open to positive subconscious reprogramming, and binaural beats have been proven to enhance the minds ability to adopt new and empowering beliefs.

Do all the above and watch your confidence (and your ‘give a f*cks’) grow!

You rock!

Ben Grant Mitchell